40 day dinner in remembrance
Question:
I recently lost my mom who was Ukrainian orthodox, I am wondering what is the meaning of the 40 day dinner in rememberance of her. I was told in the past that it meant that is when she will enter heaven. The rest of my siblings and I are wondering if in fact this is true or is there another meaning. Thank you in advance for awnsering my question.
Answer:
Dr. Alexander Roman alex.roman@unicorne.org
Please accept our sincerest condolences on the loss of your dear mother!
We especially pray for the soul of the departed during the first forty days and have the Divine Liturgy celebrated (Holy Eucharist) for his or her repose during that time.
The Divine Liturgy is celebrated on the third day after death in honour of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after death in honour of the Nine Choirs of Angels and then on the fortieth day at which time the soul is assigned a place until the Second Coming of Christ (Christ Himself remained on earth for 40 days following His resurrection until he ascended to Heaven).
We should pray for the souls of the reposed individually as well, using the Book of Psalms or any other prayers we like. We are to pray God to forgive the sins of the reposed and to take them to Himself.
After the fortieth day, we shouldn't stop praying for the souls of our relatives and friends, but continue to remember them before the Throne of God Almighty and also have the Divine Liturgy celebrated on the yearly anniversary of their repose and perhaps also on their Namesday patron saint (e.g. St Irene's Day for a relative or friend named "Irene").
During the forty day dinner, it would also be good and very traditional to have someone pray the psalms out loud. In the Ukrainian practice, at a repast following a funeral and at any dinner where the dead are commemorated, we put out a framed picture of the dearly departed with a black ribbon over it and with a candle in front of it. Such dinners should always be solemn occasions where the focus on prayer for the departed is first and foremost.
