Ukrainian Orthodoxy		Orthodoxie ukrainienne

Mixed Marriages

Question:

I and my fiancee are due to be married soon. She is Roman Catholic and although has agreed to have the service in my church, she has had some questions about altering the service a little. I told her that there is no> way that any musical instruments can be used in the churc and she gave in. However, her parents were married by a Ukrainian Catholic priest 30 years ago and they had the betrothal part of the ceremony in the front of the church rather than the back. I know that our traditions with the Uniate church are very similiar if not almost the same. Is it possible to have the betrothal part of the ceremony in the front of the church? Is it also possible to have a unity candle during the ceremony? Are these decisions up to my parishes priest or is it a doctrinal rule?

Answer:

Very Reverend Ihor Kutash kutash@unicorne.org

The symbolism of the Marriage service, in order to preserve the theology of the Orthodox Church regarding Matrimony, requires that the priest lead the couple to the place where the Marriage is celebrated, the Tetrapod. He represents Christ at that point, you see, and we believe that it is the Lord Himself Who unites the couple. The vision of the Roman Catholic Church on this is that the couple confers the Sacrament on each other. From this point of view it is quite in order that the Betrothal takes place in the front of the Church for the priest is simply the witness of their conferring of the Sacrament upon each other in Christ. But from the Orthodox perspective, the role of the priest is that Christ confers the Sacrament upon them through him, so he must lead them to this holy space. 

The Catholic perspective has influenced Orthodox cultures, esp. among the Ukrainians so that one does find, esp. among Ukrainian Orthodox from Western Ukraine, that they will do the betrothal in front of the Tetrapod without the priest leading the couple to it. But, as indicated above, this detracts from the symbolism of the rite. So  I would strongly recommend that the priest still leads you to the Tetrapod. A common concession that I have made is that I greet the couple half-way down the aisle of the Church and then lead them the rest of the way.

All this really does depend upon the Priest celebrating the Marriage. He may be willing to make the concession I suggest or even to do the Betrothal as the Catholics do.

What is crucial is that you and your fiancee truly commit yourselves to each other in Christ.  It is a wonderful but also challenging journey upon which you are embarking together!  Congratulations. God bless you!  Keep the faith!

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