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Ukrainian Orthodoxy |
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Orthodoxie ukrainienne |
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Premarital Sex
Question:
My girlfriend and I are both
Orthodox Christians and have been dating for several years now.
We have each discussed our futures in our relationship and about
premarital sex. When we were growing up I was told to wait until
marriage to engage in sex, her parents have said the same but
they are being hypocritical because they did not wait until
marriage. I am truly confused. My girlfriend and I are truly
committed to each other and love each other dearly. But I am not
sure what I should be doing. I am not sure how God and my
parents will look at me if I have premarital sex because I would
feel that I have committed an evil deed by letting God and my
parents down. I would appreciate this if you could respond
please.
Answer:
Very
Rev. Ihor Kutash kutash@unicorne.org
Your parents are not hypocritical in
encouraging you to adhere to the ideal where they failed. To have
been truly hypocritical they would have had to have tried to conceal
their failure from you. As I say at the close of one of my previous
articles (see below): You can be heroic where they failed to be. It
often appears that previous generations pass on the challenge to
those who come after: "Succeed where I failed".
Our goal, I profoundly believe, is to
re-establish and confirm in this time/space world the wonderful gift
(which has to be received by our own consistent and deliberate
efforts!) of the sort of love I have described in my articles.
I am sure that you truly wish to be
loving to your girlfriend, your parents, God and yourself. Then be
HEROIC! And if you fail be heroic by honestly saying: "I failed,
but the challenge remains".
God is merciful and forgiving and will
never abandon you... but He will never stop challenging you - and
all of us - to surpass what we think is possible by reaching even
higher than our very best. This is especially the case with
something as wondrous and miraculous as love for love is the essence
of the precious cosmos He has created and which He continually
lovingly maintains and unfolds!
Blessings to both of you... and to
your parents.
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